Neither are my friends in 3rd Street Saints, a gang with fame, merchandise, and PR that would make Disney blush. Guests mingle and dance at a penthouse party, but I’m not invited. The technical information is interesting, but I’m here to party. The Windows PC version, on the other hand, can run as fast as your system can handle. The only real disappointment comes from the console versions, which are locked at a 30 fps frame rate. If the Remastered version of Saints Row: The Third were released as a brand-new game today, I’d accept it as such. This is a version of Saints Row: The Third that matches what I remember from the original launch - maybe not immediately visually dazzling but, with this modern restoration, it still holds its own against the competition. It looks, for all of its age, like a modern game with pretty lighting and high-resolution textures. So what does the Remastered treatment give the 9-year-old game? I played on a PC hooked up to my TV, and watched the mayhem explode in 4K at a glorious 60 frames per second.

Kanye West’s “Power” is playing in the background. My buddy Pierce calls me with half of an idea, and the next thing I know I’m hanging out of a helicopter, dressed like a wizard - big, floppy Gandalf hat black robes fringed with purple stars-and-moons pattern, naturally - giving the side-eye to a rooftop swimming pool atop a skyscraper.

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